There is a scene that is burned in my mind since I caught it like a shooting start way back in middle school on a lonely Monday afternoon. Dad was at work and mom was running my sister on an errand so I sat alone watching whatever movie was playing on TNT at the time. The movie was “Instinct” with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins plays a man discovered living among the gorillas and is brought back for “observation.” Cuba sees Hopkins as his ticket out of the mediocre establishment at the psych ward and proceeds to evaluate and integrate him.
During one scene, an arrogant Cuba is condescendingly talking to Hopkins when suddenly, Hopkins vaults the table and places Cuba in a chokehold saying, “I will snap your neck unless you tell me what it is I have taken from you.”
With a crayon, Cuba writes the word, “control.”
Hopkins replies, “You never had it. I will give you one last chance before I kill you. What did I take from you?”
Cuba takes the crayon one last time and writes, “the illusion of control.”
Hopkins releases his grip and walks away.
There have been so many moments when I have picked up the crayon and written the words “the illusion of control.”
So many jarring moments when you realize you are not as secure, not as safe, not as protected as you thought you were. This is why the story of David and Golaith resonates for us so many years after it was first told. Not becuase we have all faced some momunemouts task and survived but becauase we have all thought ourselvs invicinble, only to be brought down by microspocib organism. We are not titans so much as tadpoles and it takes little to comprise and kill our system.
This is why we invtented and created locks, to make us feel a bit secure, to give us the “illusion of control.” This is why we lock up toilet paper in public stalls, so we can feel confident that it will be there when we need it. This is why we install locks on our doors, read self-help books, and take our vitamins, because we are all trying to stave off that rogue pebble we know is capable of felling our giant lives.
Becuase, after all, we are not as secure or safe as we are brought up to believe.